We came across a really profound article that spoke to all of us in different ways and we just felt the need to share. If you can resonate at all with the title of this show please take the time to read it. I guarantee that it will give you some insights into your own behaviours and relationships. It was written by Shari Schreiber and was posted on her website http://www.gettinbetter.com/.
Here is the first paragraph just to get you interested: “How often have you heard yourself say, “I’m a giver, not a taker”? Have you experienced discomfort when receiving something from another~ whether it’s a gift, a compliment or a kind gesture? Have you ever known what it feels like to be in a reciprocal relationship? If these questions trigger memories of awkward, familiar sensations, it means you were programmed as a small child to believe that receiving vital supplies of attention, affection and emotional support came at a substantial cost to your parent(s). Very young, you learned to accommodate and normalize these painful deficits and started putting the needs of others ahead of your own, because doing otherwise meant you’d have to endure feelings of guilt or shame.”
One of the “Needs” systems we talked about was Maslow’s:
If you want to delve in a little deeper yet, here’s some of the other articles we found:
Here’s a little excerpt from the Recovery Connection article:
Top Ten Questions to Ask About Codependent Behavior
- Do you avoid confrontation?
- Do you neglect your needs to attend to another’s first?
- Do you accept verbal or physical abuse by others?
- Do take responsibility for the actions of others?
- Do you feel shame when others make mistakes?
- Do you do more than your share at work, at home or in organizations?
- Do you ask for help?
- Do you need others’ validation to feel good about yourself?
- Do you think everyone’s feelings are more important than your own?
- Do you suffer from low self esteem?